B-O-B round 2: The Ultimate Wingman

So one Friday night, my roommates and I headed down to our favorite bar for some dancing and drinks. This bar is hands down the best bar EVER. We love it like it's one of our best friends. I've been to a lot of bars, and there's not another bar like this one anywhere. If I had to describe it, I would say that everyone sings along and dances to every song like it's the best song ever. And these are songs aren't your everyday songs - we're talking about Michael Bolton "How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?" or the "Copacabana" or you might even hear some Meatloaf. And every night is the best night ever. but i digress....

So we're at the bar. And I spot the hottest guy I've ever seen. He's got a few visible tattoos, his ears are pierced, he's just all around HOT. And all 7 of us agreed that he was hot. So you have to believe me if you can 7 girls with opposing tastes to agree on a guy. By default, I was the one who had to get him to go home with me. Everyone else was in a relationship or talking to someone they really cared about. My first mistake was that I waited around for HIM to talk to ME. after about an hour or so of waiting, I finally came up with a clever way of talking to him without seeming like I was hitting on him. Except that his response was "I'm glad you finally came up and said something. You've been staring at me all night."

But he kept talking to me and I introduced him to my friends - his name was Bob. Only R couldn't quite catch that, so he signed his name in sign language B-O-B. Needless to say, we only refer to him as B-O-B. Bob and his friend were in town for the football game. He told me he was in the military... yada yada yada... One by one my friends left to go home. One girl stayed with me so that Bob's friend would have someone to dance with. Eventually it was time to go and I thought B-O-B should go home with me. Except it wasnt until we were in the car that we realized our plan wasnt very thought out. My friend had a boyfriend that she wasnt about to cheat on. And the two men I had just brought home didn't live here, so the friend didnt have anywhere to go. So I brought him some pillows and blankets and he slept on our couch while his friend slept in my bed... That is how he became the ULTIMATE WINGMAN.

our story doesnt end here though. B-O-B was covered in tattoos with lots of piercings - including nipple rings. And the next morning when I went to the bathroom, R came bounding down the stairs, busts through the door to my room to a naked B-O-B sitting in bed. Noone knew I had brought him home. AND he wasnt there for the game with just his friend. He was with his parents. and his dad called him to see why they didnt go back to the hotel room that night. My girls thought it was a funny story. But my guy friends have never let me live down the fact that I hooked up with a guy with nipple rings - and brought home 2 men - and they keep telling me that B-O-B is not in the military - that I fell for a line and it worked.
-M

B-O-B round 1

My freshman year of college was when most of the ridiculously embarrassing i'm-inept-at-dating/sex/love stories started. I met a guy, Bob, at an underage club (hot right?) and he went to my college, so it seemed safe enough right? He kissed me at the bar, but it was the first week of college and I wasn't sure what you were supposed to do next. So I went home with my girls instead of the cute guy.

Flashfoward a few weeks and I ran into Bob at a party. This time I was better prepared for what happens when you're young, drunk, and attracted to someone. I went back to Bob's dorm room - after several drinks i might add. He add a top bunk and things started happening and ... i knocked him off the bed and he hit his head on the radiator. He was on the floor unconscious. I slapped his cheeks a few times, yelled his name. soooooooo I snuck out of the room and went home. But it gets worse, because it always does. Turns out Bob was the brother of one of my new college friends. Bob had gotten a slight concussion and never wanted to see me again.
-M