The L Word

I think part of my singledom arises from my fear of intimacy and commitment. I usually don't know how I feel about someone until I've already screwed the relationship up. I'm terrified of the big L - love. In fact, I've never said "I love you" to a guy. I'm not a complete freak - I tell my friends and family I love them all the time. I just can't be that open and honest with a guy I'm in a relationship with. And it's kinda landed me in a pickle.

I dated a guy for awhile - we'll call him A. We never really established our relationship - again my commitment issues. But it was about as serious as I've ever gotten with a guy. I knew A in high school, but we didnt date until college. Now we live in different cities, but we still keep in touch and are good friends. When I was home for Thanksgiving, he came over and spent the holiday with my family. Then we went out. Then we hooked up. Then he said "I love you." and my response was "no you don't" It was kinda uncomfortable after that...
-M